My sisters have been playing detective the past couple of days. This time they found a briefcase hidden in dad's closet and they were able to crack it open. Inside they found two guns, one with seven bullets (his lucky number), several envelopes with a woman's name and an amount written outside. They also found several passbooks and checkbooks. There were cheques written out to 2 suspicious females, one Indian guy and the passbooks amounted to millions. It amazes me how much this guy is hoarding.
Oh yeah, my sister said that inside that briefcase of secrets was a letter from me when I was much younger. It said something like, "Dad, Can you please buy me more clothes for my birthday? I don't need toys anymore because I already have lots of those and I don't know where to put them anymore."
The fact that he kept that letter is sort of sweet. And I'm bewildered myself what happened between then and now for things to have gotten this way between us. I think it started when he got into politics and everyone else became more important to him than me. I mean, that's if you sift the ultimate facts from the chaff, that is. Maybe that's why I hated politics so much. Basically, it took him away from me. So yes, at one point in my life, I was daddy's girl. Then it hurt so much that I had to shut down, shun him out, stop working for his approval which never seemed like it was coming in order to preserve myself.
Then now, this. How sad.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
The Long Wait is Over
GB finally got his ass over here, whewwww!!!!
I still can't fuck anyone else because my Destiny Adviser said that would mess with my karma so after almost 2 months of not getting any (from anyone else, of course, i've had lots of self love), I finally got fucked well and good.
He was supposed to arrive last month but his mom had a stroke and he and his brother had to take turns watching over her. Anyway, he's here now and when we met up, we just went at it. He fucked me from behind, over and over again, deep and slow and then reallllll deep. I was so sore the next day.
I slept over but didn't get much sleep. So we took two days off to "recuperate". In the meantime, my life crashed around me. I found out that my dad has two other families (with kids), that I'm being evicted, and that I need to scoot over to the US for good in about two months. Such a lot of things on my mind that I hardly slept at all. Oh yeah, Friday night I went out with my friends (Jenny's despedida). That was fun but I still feel like an outsider. Typhoon Egay was raging and so Joey and Jerome ended up spending the night in my place since they got stranded by floods and couldn't go home.
Last night, I badly needed company so I scooted over to his hotel room. We didn't have sex but it was, in my opinion, way better. I told him about my concerns while we were spooning with each other and holding hands. He was also tired from working the entire time and he showed me the pics of the mall he was designing and those that he's done in other countries. Oh, during our first night, he showed me pics of his sons and his ex-wife, his house, his car and other stuff.
So the plan was to take a nap and then wake up for some amazing sex but I think we were both tired and needed sleep so just slept together. Then in the middle of the night, he woke up. He started saying something that went like "Earlier on in the evening we were talking about my bearings...." (I was like wha??? what is this guy talking about? is he mistaking me for some other girl he went out with earlier this evening?) "like my boat....", he went on. I still couldn't follow the conversation because I was half asleep and wondering whether or not he was really talking to me or what. I said, "M, are you talking in your sleep?" and he said, "No." Then he said, "I still don't know how to say this properly" and "I don't think I can say it yet".
So I just reassured him that he would eventually figure out how to say it. But *that* kept me awake. So I just went for a bathroom break and when I got out of the bathroom, I said, "M, are you sure you're talking to me? I'm the one who's with you tonight." And he goes, "Yes, I was talking to you (and then he says my name)."
Well, that was strange. I've asked my destiny adviser what it meant and all she told me was to go ask him about it. I have no idea if what he meant to say was good or bad or has nothing to do with our "relationship" at all. He might have been talking about boats for real, for crying out loud. But if he were, what would it be about boats that would be difficult to say? He did say that we would continue meeting so I think you could safely eliminate the "we can't see each other again" sort of conversation. Or maybe it could have been an "I don't want to see anyone seriously" conversation or, on the more positive side, an "i'm beginning to like you" sort of talk. I really don't know but I'll be asking him about it. For one thing, if I don't, this will keep haunting my thoughts, lol.
Okay, I know I have to write that motion for extension of time letter and I've been putting it off. It's like I'm in denial and all I want to do is just sleep and sleep.
I still can't fuck anyone else because my Destiny Adviser said that would mess with my karma so after almost 2 months of not getting any (from anyone else, of course, i've had lots of self love), I finally got fucked well and good.
He was supposed to arrive last month but his mom had a stroke and he and his brother had to take turns watching over her. Anyway, he's here now and when we met up, we just went at it. He fucked me from behind, over and over again, deep and slow and then reallllll deep. I was so sore the next day.
I slept over but didn't get much sleep. So we took two days off to "recuperate". In the meantime, my life crashed around me. I found out that my dad has two other families (with kids), that I'm being evicted, and that I need to scoot over to the US for good in about two months. Such a lot of things on my mind that I hardly slept at all. Oh yeah, Friday night I went out with my friends (Jenny's despedida). That was fun but I still feel like an outsider. Typhoon Egay was raging and so Joey and Jerome ended up spending the night in my place since they got stranded by floods and couldn't go home.
Last night, I badly needed company so I scooted over to his hotel room. We didn't have sex but it was, in my opinion, way better. I told him about my concerns while we were spooning with each other and holding hands. He was also tired from working the entire time and he showed me the pics of the mall he was designing and those that he's done in other countries. Oh, during our first night, he showed me pics of his sons and his ex-wife, his house, his car and other stuff.
So the plan was to take a nap and then wake up for some amazing sex but I think we were both tired and needed sleep so just slept together. Then in the middle of the night, he woke up. He started saying something that went like "Earlier on in the evening we were talking about my bearings...." (I was like wha??? what is this guy talking about? is he mistaking me for some other girl he went out with earlier this evening?) "like my boat....", he went on. I still couldn't follow the conversation because I was half asleep and wondering whether or not he was really talking to me or what. I said, "M, are you talking in your sleep?" and he said, "No." Then he said, "I still don't know how to say this properly" and "I don't think I can say it yet".
So I just reassured him that he would eventually figure out how to say it. But *that* kept me awake. So I just went for a bathroom break and when I got out of the bathroom, I said, "M, are you sure you're talking to me? I'm the one who's with you tonight." And he goes, "Yes, I was talking to you (and then he says my name)."
Well, that was strange. I've asked my destiny adviser what it meant and all she told me was to go ask him about it. I have no idea if what he meant to say was good or bad or has nothing to do with our "relationship" at all. He might have been talking about boats for real, for crying out loud. But if he were, what would it be about boats that would be difficult to say? He did say that we would continue meeting so I think you could safely eliminate the "we can't see each other again" sort of conversation. Or maybe it could have been an "I don't want to see anyone seriously" conversation or, on the more positive side, an "i'm beginning to like you" sort of talk. I really don't know but I'll be asking him about it. For one thing, if I don't, this will keep haunting my thoughts, lol.
Okay, I know I have to write that motion for extension of time letter and I've been putting it off. It's like I'm in denial and all I want to do is just sleep and sleep.
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