Client meeting again last night which ended at 3am for me. As usual, the room was dominated by Americans and there were only 3 locals around. It's a strange sight. The expats keep on blabbing incessantly while the locals are quiet. Of course, we talk when it's time for us to talk - no sense in just speaking for the sake of speaking - which the expats think is an indicia of our intelligence or ability to comprehend complex issues. Fallacious if you ask me.
I've heard that they've referred to us as "monkeys" behind our back while we've referred to them as "stupid". However, when we face each other, we are the most decent and civil bunch of folks you might ever encounter. There you have it. Bigotry at its most deceptive, carefully hidden by our more lofty business objectives.
I've been thinking about our expat VP. Last night, while he was giving the presentation, he was at half-mast, hahaha. I thought it was kinda weird but I couldn't very well much ignore it since I could see his profile most of the time. I don't remember him being like that before. Did he find giving client preps erotic? haha. Or maybe it was because of residual viagra? He married a local, you know. I've seen their pics and she doesn't look like she comes from the best of families (as far the social strata in my country is concerned). She looks pretty with make-up and is reed thin but that's about it. Nothing great but probably an expat's dream. I just wondered how it was that he was able to fall in love with someone else when he seems so cold, unfeeling and professional. Then again, with the way I have to be to survive in the office jungle, he must probably think the same thing of me.
My relatives from the US arrived already. They're here because they're attending my sister's wedding which is in the next couple of weeks. Dad and I took them out to lunch. My dad and I aren't on the best of terms. Suffice it to say that we aren't speaking on the issues that we disagree on and that's practically everything. Ever since he lost the election, he's been spiralling down this path of self-destruction that seems mostly passive-aggressive. In other words, he's refusing to pick himself up even if the world of those he loves around him comes tumbling down.
So while our visitors our here, my dad is bent on making things look like they're in tip-top shape. The charade begins. Lah dee dah.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Vegging Out on a Weekend
Work during the week is so frazzled that it makes me exhausted. Although I usually plan to get backlog done during the weekend, I rarely get to do it. Take this Saturday for instance. Even if I had a long list of errands to run, writing to do, emails to reply to and what not, I couldn't bring myself to do any of those. For one thing, I'm just plain exhausted.
Case in point. I took a nap this afternoon that lasted for 5 freaking hours. hahaha. So there. My body clock is warped again and here I am awake at 3am, blogging while watching a late night/early morning movie on cable.
My regular masseuse couldn't be contacted since Friday and that sucks. So I had someone else come in because I was literally catatonic from exhaustion. It was good too although it costs a bit more.
I really wish that I didn't have to work anymore and still live a comfortable and luxurious lifestyle. Well, I guess that's probably on everyone's wish list. This whole retirement and rest thing is all lopsided in my view. The way things are now is that you work your butt off when you're young and when you get to 60 or 65, you get to retire and travel around the world. How do you get to enjoy that when you're already frail and don't have the energy to hop, skip, jump or ride the rapids?
If I were given the power to change things, I would reverse the whole thing. Give the young ones enough money for an excellent education and the money to travel and have great adventures as well. Then, when that runs out, that's when they have to work because old people often have to figure out what to do with their time anyway. They can also play a big hand in raising kids because they would have the wisdom and experience to impart.
It's a pretty loose construction of my version of yuppie utopia. But then again, we can all dream, can't we?
Case in point. I took a nap this afternoon that lasted for 5 freaking hours. hahaha. So there. My body clock is warped again and here I am awake at 3am, blogging while watching a late night/early morning movie on cable.
My regular masseuse couldn't be contacted since Friday and that sucks. So I had someone else come in because I was literally catatonic from exhaustion. It was good too although it costs a bit more.
I really wish that I didn't have to work anymore and still live a comfortable and luxurious lifestyle. Well, I guess that's probably on everyone's wish list. This whole retirement and rest thing is all lopsided in my view. The way things are now is that you work your butt off when you're young and when you get to 60 or 65, you get to retire and travel around the world. How do you get to enjoy that when you're already frail and don't have the energy to hop, skip, jump or ride the rapids?
If I were given the power to change things, I would reverse the whole thing. Give the young ones enough money for an excellent education and the money to travel and have great adventures as well. Then, when that runs out, that's when they have to work because old people often have to figure out what to do with their time anyway. They can also play a big hand in raising kids because they would have the wisdom and experience to impart.
It's a pretty loose construction of my version of yuppie utopia. But then again, we can all dream, can't we?
Thursday, December 01, 2005
I Think I'm Paranoid
Okay, maybe I've got a persecution complex of sorts. But really, you kinda get that way when you're not sure whether or not anyone's watching your back.
My conspiracy theory sort of broke down. Today N approached me and told me that she had no choice but to stay in the meeting because she was asked to give her perspective on Operations. She told me everything that went on in the meeting and didn't seem to be hiding anything from me. Well, that's good. One notch up the ladder of trust.
Then I got to talk to E whom I also thought was conspiring to leap up the corporate ladder behind my back. Turns out that his suggestions of alternative suppliers were made in good faith. He also said that I really got a good deal on my notebook. Actually, I was so afraid that he would prick my bubble because if there's anyone who knows anything at all about techie stuff, it would be him. He said that he would trade his laptop with mine any day. Of course, we both know that that's not happening, haha.
Weird thing happening in the office. There's a reorganization of sorts and I honestly feel that it's to his disadvantage that L will be gone for a month. Not a good time to be gone, really. But it seems that although M, the big boss, has been disappointed with him time and again, M is really a patient person and wants to give the guy a chance. Truthfully, M is the reason why I haven't jumped ship. Not everyone has the privilege of working with an understanding boss. Although his standards for service levels don't take a dip, he's pretty cool.
On the mundane side, the batteries in my car died. Had to buy a new one all because I didn't know that these things had a lifespan. Really, they should have crash courses on car maintenance for females. It's a good thing that I live in a country where there's a mechanic (or someone purporting to be one) in every corner. In this side of the world, damsels in distress still exist and knights in shining armors are a dime a dozen. Thank God for that.
My conspiracy theory sort of broke down. Today N approached me and told me that she had no choice but to stay in the meeting because she was asked to give her perspective on Operations. She told me everything that went on in the meeting and didn't seem to be hiding anything from me. Well, that's good. One notch up the ladder of trust.
Then I got to talk to E whom I also thought was conspiring to leap up the corporate ladder behind my back. Turns out that his suggestions of alternative suppliers were made in good faith. He also said that I really got a good deal on my notebook. Actually, I was so afraid that he would prick my bubble because if there's anyone who knows anything at all about techie stuff, it would be him. He said that he would trade his laptop with mine any day. Of course, we both know that that's not happening, haha.
Weird thing happening in the office. There's a reorganization of sorts and I honestly feel that it's to his disadvantage that L will be gone for a month. Not a good time to be gone, really. But it seems that although M, the big boss, has been disappointed with him time and again, M is really a patient person and wants to give the guy a chance. Truthfully, M is the reason why I haven't jumped ship. Not everyone has the privilege of working with an understanding boss. Although his standards for service levels don't take a dip, he's pretty cool.
On the mundane side, the batteries in my car died. Had to buy a new one all because I didn't know that these things had a lifespan. Really, they should have crash courses on car maintenance for females. It's a good thing that I live in a country where there's a mechanic (or someone purporting to be one) in every corner. In this side of the world, damsels in distress still exist and knights in shining armors are a dime a dozen. Thank God for that.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Warped Time Zone
Whenever I have to have a meeting with some client or one of the expats at some God-awful hour in the morning, my body clock pretty much gets shot for the whole week. It sucks, really. Like this afternoon, at around 1pm I was pretty much wasted because for the past 2 days, I had been getting up at 3am.
That's no easy feat too especially when you've just watched "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" and you finally figure out the significance of 3am. Says in the movie that it's a mockery of the salvation hour, 3am, when Christ died on the cross. So it's the witching hour and for the past two days, it hasn't been fun waking to an alarm clock that says 3:00AM on its face.
Anyway, I'm still feeling a bit insecure about my unbranded notebook. I've been looking at other laptops and I wish I had them. But I have to dispel that thought out of my mind so that I can enjoy this purchase. So there.
Possible conspiracy theory in the office. N seems two faced. Pretending to be my ally when she is in fact, one of the assassins in disguise. Earlier on, there was a mancom meeting and big boss told both of us that we were excused already. I packed my stuff and left the conference room and then found out that she had stayed on and I was the only one not attending the freaking mancom. Hmmm. I shall ask my personal seer about that.
Honestly, I might as well be living in the age of the Chinese Dynasties with all these assassination attempts. Don't they have better things to do than climb the corporate ladder that way?
That's no easy feat too especially when you've just watched "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" and you finally figure out the significance of 3am. Says in the movie that it's a mockery of the salvation hour, 3am, when Christ died on the cross. So it's the witching hour and for the past two days, it hasn't been fun waking to an alarm clock that says 3:00AM on its face.
Anyway, I'm still feeling a bit insecure about my unbranded notebook. I've been looking at other laptops and I wish I had them. But I have to dispel that thought out of my mind so that I can enjoy this purchase. So there.
Possible conspiracy theory in the office. N seems two faced. Pretending to be my ally when she is in fact, one of the assassins in disguise. Earlier on, there was a mancom meeting and big boss told both of us that we were excused already. I packed my stuff and left the conference room and then found out that she had stayed on and I was the only one not attending the freaking mancom. Hmmm. I shall ask my personal seer about that.
Honestly, I might as well be living in the age of the Chinese Dynasties with all these assassination attempts. Don't they have better things to do than climb the corporate ladder that way?
Monday, November 28, 2005
Living in a Wireless World
Hey, guess what? I bought a laptop sort of on impulse today. "Sort of" because I really have been craving for a laptop for the past year to be well... mobile, I guess. The oafs at work won't give me one even if I've been requesting for one since time immemorial. And the royal suck up who's supposed to follow it up with the big bosses keeps on making it a power trip. Crap.
Anyway, bottom line is that I have a notebook now. I got it on 12 months, 0% interest and from what my former boss told me anything with 0% is a good deal. For one thing, you're already using what you bought even if you haven't paid for it yet. For another, res ipsa loquitur. It's zero interest! What else can I say?
I wanted a VAIO or a Fujitsu or a DELL Latitude X1 really but I still can't afford it. Eventually, I'll probably get a laptop of my choice but right now, I'm quite happy to have this one because for one thing, I really think it's going to save me a lot of headaches. Plus, I can get more fresh air working outside.
It's really a clone. And when I was thinking about whether or not to buy it, I spent some time dwelling on the fact that it's not branded. Did I really care what other people would think? Then again, even when I'm sometimes very brand particular, my utilitarian nature shines through and if it gets the work done, then it gets the work done. If it's going to make my life easier, then that's fine with me. And they call me high maintenance, ha!
Right now, it's got everything I need - 60GB, 512MB ram, 12" screen, DVD/CDRW combo drive, 1.8kg, wireless connectivity and it's in a nice little white package. If you weren't looking closely, you might even mistake it for a lifebook.
Still an all, the prospect of making payments on this one is making me feel giddy. I don't know why but it feels as though someone caught me with my hand in the cookie jar. I just hate buying stuff on credit. Feels good while the card is being swiped and you know that you'll go home with your purchase, but then again it feels much better knowing that you wholly own the thing and that you have no other obligations to third parties.
Anyway, I planned to transfer all my files onto it. But I changed my mind. I don't want pieces of me in my hard drive before I let the techies at the office tinker with it to set it up. Like I said before, I'm a sucker for privacy.
Anyway, bottom line is that I have a notebook now. I got it on 12 months, 0% interest and from what my former boss told me anything with 0% is a good deal. For one thing, you're already using what you bought even if you haven't paid for it yet. For another, res ipsa loquitur. It's zero interest! What else can I say?
I wanted a VAIO or a Fujitsu or a DELL Latitude X1 really but I still can't afford it. Eventually, I'll probably get a laptop of my choice but right now, I'm quite happy to have this one because for one thing, I really think it's going to save me a lot of headaches. Plus, I can get more fresh air working outside.
It's really a clone. And when I was thinking about whether or not to buy it, I spent some time dwelling on the fact that it's not branded. Did I really care what other people would think? Then again, even when I'm sometimes very brand particular, my utilitarian nature shines through and if it gets the work done, then it gets the work done. If it's going to make my life easier, then that's fine with me. And they call me high maintenance, ha!
Right now, it's got everything I need - 60GB, 512MB ram, 12" screen, DVD/CDRW combo drive, 1.8kg, wireless connectivity and it's in a nice little white package. If you weren't looking closely, you might even mistake it for a lifebook.
Still an all, the prospect of making payments on this one is making me feel giddy. I don't know why but it feels as though someone caught me with my hand in the cookie jar. I just hate buying stuff on credit. Feels good while the card is being swiped and you know that you'll go home with your purchase, but then again it feels much better knowing that you wholly own the thing and that you have no other obligations to third parties.
Anyway, I planned to transfer all my files onto it. But I changed my mind. I don't want pieces of me in my hard drive before I let the techies at the office tinker with it to set it up. Like I said before, I'm a sucker for privacy.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Jane Doe Comes to Town
Ahh, the freedom of anonymity. With a place as big as the web, you can hide in any virtual nook and cranny you can find away from the prying eyes of those who know you.
Had a blog before on Friendster but after a couple of entries, it bugged me that every time I shared a little bit of myself, everyone in my list would be notified of it. It just screamed for attention when that was the last thing that I wanted.
I wear a lot of hats, you see. No, I don't have multiple personality disorder, just in case you were wondering but I am someone else for certain groups of people. Sometimes I am someone they look up to. Sometimes I am someone they rely on and they can lean on. Sometimes I am someone who writes poignant essays that they expect the same calibre of writing every time I publish. Sometimes I'm the hotshot lady lawyer that gives advice to the downtrodden and carries their torches for them. Sometimes I'm the older sister that has everything down pat.
Then again, sometimes I'm just weak. And I need a place where I can lay down my armor in the quiet and acknowledge that I'm scared, anxious, uncertain, frustrated and angry. Or give away the fact that cheap thrills sometimes make my day.
In other words, I need sanctuary from the familiar. And here in this virtual city which is neither here nor there, I will try to find it.
Had a blog before on Friendster but after a couple of entries, it bugged me that every time I shared a little bit of myself, everyone in my list would be notified of it. It just screamed for attention when that was the last thing that I wanted.
I wear a lot of hats, you see. No, I don't have multiple personality disorder, just in case you were wondering but I am someone else for certain groups of people. Sometimes I am someone they look up to. Sometimes I am someone they rely on and they can lean on. Sometimes I am someone who writes poignant essays that they expect the same calibre of writing every time I publish. Sometimes I'm the hotshot lady lawyer that gives advice to the downtrodden and carries their torches for them. Sometimes I'm the older sister that has everything down pat.
Then again, sometimes I'm just weak. And I need a place where I can lay down my armor in the quiet and acknowledge that I'm scared, anxious, uncertain, frustrated and angry. Or give away the fact that cheap thrills sometimes make my day.
In other words, I need sanctuary from the familiar. And here in this virtual city which is neither here nor there, I will try to find it.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
