Okay. It's been 57 hours and 19 minutes since I last took a whiff of my nicotine laden ciggy. I've been doing well (in the sense that I haven't seriously taken a cheat) and not so well at the same time. The first day was terrible. I felt like my whole world was in slow motion and I couldn't will myself to think faster and all my thoughts felt like they were separate globs floating in the air that I had to catch and piece together so that it would make sense.
Yesterday was a whole lot better. I still felt dizzy. Heartburn has become second nature to me and I can feel phlegm or tar or whatever welling up in my lungs. I suppose it's getting ready to chuck it out or there's a revolt going on in there since the source of their sustenance is gone. I took a walk too -- my first one this winter -- and it was a good one. But, but, but, I can't go walking for that long and with that much enthusiasm every time I get a craving.
I miss my cigarettes. I miss the swirl of the smoke as I exhale and think of things meditative while taking that five minute break.
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