What the....???

Okay. I don't know why all of a sudden my love life has stopped to a screeching halt. They all just disintegrated into thin air. PK's gone, GB's not responding to my emails and DD...well, that one isn't news, I haven't heard from him in quite a while.

I've been spending time with AT but I don't think he's romantically interested in me. He initially contacted me for tagalog tutorials and me being the nice person that I am, I acquiesced. In turn, I made him my virtual personal trainer. So in between language lessons and my fitness program, we find lots to talk about.

Still and all, I have no idea what happened to these men that I'm rendezvouing with. I was about to fall into another "nothing is going to happen to my love life" depression again when I caught myself in the brink of time and picked myself up before falling into that decrepit hole again. Yes, it does get lonely. Yes, I wish there was someone out there who gave a shit that I existed. Yes, I wish I were a hottie so it would be easier to get men interested in me... but right now, there's no one there. There's only me. And that's who I'll be working on for now.

It's like what they said in CWG, Masters always pick the same thing over and over again. And since I said that this year I would love myself the most, I PICK ME. I LOVE ME. I won't let some inconsiderate oaf make me feel bad about myself. I am beautiful. I am sexy. I am smart. I am witty. I am worthy of love. and... even if I'm not that conscious of it all the time, I AM LOVED. I AM ENOUGH. I just want to be better. Because I want to. For me. And if I see PK again and I am such a hot babe, I will make him drool. And beg for it. But I want him to see me fuck someone else first. Then I'll think about getting it on with him. Ha ha. And if he doesn't want me, who cares? I'll be a hot babe. Everyone will want me. (okay, a bit overboard there... haha)

I AM HAPPY GIRL. So whenever I feel down and out, all I have to do, as said in CWG, is to THINK AGAIN. Change the sponsoring thought. And my sponsoring thought is LOVE. I AM RICH. I AM WEALTHY. I AM BEAUTIFUL. I AM LOVED. Like KK said, I just have to do my time. Everything comes in good time. I am destined for it.

So there, I am changing my thought about being sad that no one's here. Let's see what my destiny adviser will tell me Friday.