The Game is Afoot

FB just came back from Thailand and a couple of days ago, I found out that he made a "special friend" over there. She also the reason he couldn't come visit me in my country because he was thoroughly enjoying himself over there with her.

Okay, so I've cried my eyes out, gnashed my teeth and pulled my hair out in grief the past couple of days but thanks to a different perspective, I've decided to get back in the ring and stake my claim over MY lone wolf. Yes, I do know that we will never end up together and even if he dropped down on one knee and asked me to marry him right now, I'd say no BUT FB has a long term role to play in my life and I will definitely protect *that* interest of mine.

My destiny adviser says that it will take at least three months for me to get under his skin once again and four to five years before he does a double take and realizes how much I have come to mean to him but after much deliberation, I therefore conclude that I am willing to put in the time.

My biggest challenge in all this is keeping my green monster at bay. I am actually quite notorious to my friends when it comes to jealousy episodes and the words "unbridled passion" comes to mind. But I think that as long as I keep my eyes on the ball and put on my game face, I can do this. I have been advised though to use email as my main medium until such time that I can get a handle on my emotions and not let anything seep through during live conversation. And if that Thai girl has won the battle this round, I will make it my own personal mission to make sure that I will win the war. I am a seductress and this seduction will certainly put my skills to the test.

Why do I think I can do this? Well, I've got credentials. Ha ha. The letter writing part, I've got down pat. I have seven years experience in an ongoing romantic correspondence behind me and even if the guy broke my heart (battle), four years later, he is still pining after me, a fact I gathered from his best friend.

As for the "other woman" part, heck, I have been in an emotional affair with a married man. Played badminton with his wife and went through the hell of her pregnancy with their first born. Yup, I was there that day when the doctor announced she was pregnant and when she finally gave birth, J named his son the name I picked out, not the one his wife did. And yes, I was totally in love with the man. So the whole episode hurt and I bore witness to him being with his wife, being sweet to his wife especially during those times when I simply couldn't avoid her presence during office functions when family was invited.

If I could go through that, I am certain I can go through this. For one thing, FB isn't married and doesn't plan to be. He's not looking for love. He's looking for fun and companionship. Oh, and another thing, I'm the one in a relationship right now so that's the twist in this case. And when that relationship becomes permanent, then the rules of engagement will have to be tweaked. Until then, my strategy in marking my territory is largely a mental one. I will have to assume he's married. He's entitled to have sex with her and to spend time with her or whomever he wishes to. She doesn't concern me. My world with FB is our world together. Ours and ours alone. Whether she's sweet or kind or satisfies him in bed, I will even accept that as fact. I will not wonder about it. It's a given. But I will go through this on the basis of my own merits. The sexiest organ in the body is the brain and I will give him a taste of that sweet nectar. I will not ask him about his conquests. I will merely tell him about mine (fact or fiction) and remind him from time to time that I am real. So I will be his muse and whenever he fucks some other girl, it will be me who'll be in bed with him.

So yes, I can do this. I will not even be paranoid at the results nor wonder about it. I will just do it and continue doing it and it will be like the constant drops of water that smooths out a jagged stone over time.

I'm marking my territory. And I'm in it for the long haul.