Back to Home Base

After that primal encounter with E, I felt the need to touch base with FB who is my co-conspirator in all this. It was part of our deal, anyway. He'd be my anchor while I go out exploring. At first, the concept of sharing me didn't sit too well with me then he explained that he liked sharing my pussy with other men because they'd want me but can't have me. So I suppose it's the possessiveness thing too with a little twist on the side. He needs to let them taste me so that when I'm gone, they'll actually know what they're missing and what HE has.

Okay, I kinda get that.

What I didn't expect tonight was ... a haircut. Ha ha. He looked absolutely gorgeous and now I can't believe I am crushing on FB. Not good. Not good at all.

Our session was better because of my little extra-curricular activity, I think. For some reason, I felt more connected to him and he mellowed down on his usual porn-king stance. For the first time in about the two months I've been seeing him, I felt like he was my lover instead of the faceless, generic porn fuck king. We kissed a lot and even when he took me home, we did a bit of kissing before I got down the car.

That crushing thing makes this a bit complicated. For one, it makes me more attracted to him. That's not good. Not especially considering his views about sex. During the drive to his place, I was telling him that I didn't feel too good about this afternoon. I explained my conclusions in the blog before this one and the basic premise was that "sex is just sex". He said that I should stop thinking and enjoy the act for what it is. After getting the experience, I can just forget about it. He said that there were two aspects to this little experiment of ours - mental and physical. The mental part is the connection that the both of us have. What confuses me though is that I'm not sure if all that crap he spouted applies to him as well.

I have a feeling that it probably does. "Just have fun and when it's done, move on to the next adventure." Oh boy. Well, if he continues to look as good as he did tonight, I'm in trouble.