Sadness Reigns

I am unbelievably melancholic these days. Ever since my destiny adviser told me that I have to quit all my extra-curriculars if I want D to come, I have been sort of listless. I did just that, you know. I told everyone else that I couldn't see them anymore and I almost also told PK that. I had a problem with this Italian girl he was fucking since I thought he was getting into her but he promised that he'd be done with her after just one more fuck so that takes care of it.

I've made my choice. I choose D. That I have to clear my heart of PK first is what is making me sad. I know I have to do it. It's just something I'm not looking forward to doing especially since PK is one who keeps me company most of the time. It's like giving up my only active friend.

What makes this even more difficult and tedious is that I haven't heard from D for about two months now and I'm beginning to feel foolish.

So right now, I'm just stuck doing things I don't really want to do and the reasons that I'm doing that for remains vague and elusive. It's difficult and it's making me unbearably sad. Not frustrated. I'm way past that I think. Just really really sad. Even this campaign to nowhere is such a burden. I'm in prison for a month and a half.