Spaced Out

I'm lethargic today and I simply do not want to do anything. Abstaining on casual sex really put a damper on my mood. But I have to do it because all my extra curricular activities has been changing my destiny. To put it bluntly, his karma was protecting him from me because I've been getting so gung ho on PK that I had even plotted out how I was going to cheat on DD already once we were together.

I've taken the past couple of days to think about whether or not I can give up PK for real. I'm nearing that point. He's got two regular fucks now - an asian girl and an italian one. He's also on the hunt for black pussy. At least, he's following my instructions and not just fucking one girl. I don't think I can take that Italian girl. He said that she doesn't like swallowing but he's still seeing her. I just can't take this anymore. Thinking whether or not he likes them. Thinking whether or not he likes me enough already.

I did broach up the subject of going out with my FB for dinner and he forbade me from doing so. When I asked him why, he said, "would you like me to be doing that with my FBs?" and I said, "No, I wouldn't like that." and he said, "Then you already know the answer."

I'm not as torn between two lovers as I was a couple of days ago. I wish I could have both of them. Someone who'll love me and someone who'll fuck me senseless. Why can't I have both?