Wow. I feel as if I'm improving in the relationship arena. At the very least, I'm not as flighty and I don't feel like running towards the door. At least, not yet.
Absence does make the heart grow fonder... and the lovers lustier, ha ha. Yesterday, we had this conversation that almost made me freak out. When that happens, I get the same reaction when I'm faced with a source of a phobia - my breath catches and I take short quick shallow ones, the world starts to spin and most everything is blocked from my mind. All I remember, basically, are the words "permanent", "us", "together". I know. I'm probably weird. These are the words that almost every female who hankers for a long term relationship want to hear. I think I want to hear them too but it's just so alien for me at the moment.
I think that there was even more serious talk today. I'm really at a loss here. Finally, I've met a guy who answers all my questions as forthrightly as possible without even balking. I even asked him why he does that! Isn't he supposed to give me the run around? Whenever he asks me in turn, I really get iffy about it. Heck, I'm the one who keeps asking questions and now he wants me to answer his?
At the very least, I told him that I wanted an LTR eventually. Not necessarily with him because he wants different things, but with someone else. And when I do find that guy, my heart will belong to him as well as other parts of my body. In other words, my most intimate parts are on loan to my FB until such time that my LTR arrives. Does that make sense?
It still feels surreal to me. That whole conversation was surreal if only because it seemed like he genuinely had an interest in what my answers would be.
Wonder where this will go....the sex is great; communication seems to be open and flowing...but that's all I have for now. Hmmmm....
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