Fuck Buddies

Fuck Buddies a.k.a. Friends with Benefits.

I'm new to this, really. After 30 years of keeping myself prime virgin territory, I have given the gift of my "prima nupta" to a total stranger who was nice enough to not disappoint after all the wait. To be honest, when I started the ball rolling, I was merely looking for a massage buddy, for someone to share intimate time with, without the hassle of getting too close, too connected, too in each other's faces. Things got out of hand though and this led to that and so the story goes.

I've been gobbling up whatever I could read on the net regarding friends with benefits (FWBs) and in almost every one of them, there's a cautionary tale to be told to the girls who end up expecting more out of the "arrangement". Even if I started out having no expectations whatsoever except for pleasuring each other when we're together, I can't help but wonder if I'm going to fall in that trap myself.

I ask myself, "do I want to get to know him?" and, you know what? I do. Or, "I did" would be more accurate. It's human nature to shoot for the moon. When I met up with him the first time, I was dizzy with possibilities of a relationship. I imagined us going out on dates, hanging out with each other while doing nothing, long drawn out phone calls just because we couldn't get enough of each other. Then, over time, I had more opportunity to observe and to assess the potential of this "arrangement" -- How funny is that? I can't even call this a relationship -- and I realized that he will not offer me anything more than a mouthful of cum and a glass of red wine whenever I come over.

Lucky for him, I'm cool with that. My logic behind this is the "shopping list" mentality. What you need goes on that list. If all of those items can be found at just one store, that's the best. However, if you have to shop somewhere else to complete that list, then you just have to do that until the first store has all the items you need in its inventory.

Here's the thing. This FWB will only work if we both keep our emotional levees working. Is he seeing someone else? Is he attracted to someone else? Is he in love at the moment with someone else? Or even questions like: Is he attracted to me? Does he want to get to know me more? --- I just don't want to get to the point wherein I want to ask them. I don't even think I want to know him too much either. I know myself and I tend to idealize men and romance and fill in the blanks and later on even the world's worst asshole will seem to be the most pristine and immaculate lover in my eyes. So, no. I don't want to go there.

When I told him that it was a fantasy of mine to be a geisha, he said that he wanted me to be his geisha. And today, he will school me in the art of giving a blissful blowjob.