The Chicken and The Egg

Okay, all these cautionary tales are starting to make me obsess about my FB. Half the time I'm worried that I might develop feelings for him and - like the chicken and the egg - it sort of feeds the insanity and triggers feelings!! EEEKK. I was doing so well....

Now I'm thinking whether or not he's fucking anyone behind my back. I know I asked him this the last time we were together and he said that he didn't have time to see anyone else. Prior to this freak out, I would have believed him and left it at that. Heck, I wouldn't even have cared if he said that he was seeing someone. That's what drives me crazy. It would even be better if he said that he does see some other women (okay, no not better but only theoretically better) so that I don't have the expectation that he sees only me.

It's a long weekend because of Labor Day and I'm going camping. He still hasn't figured out what he's going to do but what if he hooks up with someone else? (I know, I shouldn't care)

Okay, I have to stop this. I'm getting paranoid that he's secretly trolling CL for other prey, just like I'm doing. I think it was a very foolish thing to want the lights on just so that I could see his eyes. It was even more foolish for me to have looked into his eyes. No more of that from now on. It's a fuck. That's all it is.

Oh yeah, no more affectionate kisses from me. Just lusty ones.